October 4th: Unfriended (2015, Redbox Rental)

I love the found footage genre.  Like... TO DEATH.  The Paranormal Activity series is a gem in my eyes, Blair Witch is a Bible by which to write horror and Troll Hunter is just swell.  However, I'm not sure that I would call this movie a found footage film.  It was sold to me as thus when I went into.  She was wrong.  I think this is part of a genre I would call "Pervert Hacker Footage."  It chronicles the 82 minute demise of five teens who bullied a girl to death.

Now, I've sat through some shit in my days, but this is just exceptionally bad.  It's like a product placements for Apple, Instagram, Youtube and Liveleak that says "if you use our products, you will die!"  The whole film is one continuous shot of a girls laptop screen capture where they all bicker, squabble and be shitty ass mother fucks to each other because their on a computer.  And then they start dying.  And none of them does the logical thing: GET OFF THE FUCKING MACBOOK MOMMY AND DADDY BOUGHT YOU AND FACE THE REAL WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it.  That's the whole movie.  I wish I could say more about it, but I can't.  I really can't.  I rarely feel like I waste my time on a movie.  Even Megan is Missing changed from being a creepy view into the lives of a 13 and 14 year old talk about sex to a bonafide horror movie, complete with live burial (trust that spoiler doesn't ruin the movie, the movie ruins itself).  This movie had nothing.  Stay AWAY!!!!! Please!!!!